The Burning
by ratatatkat
Summary: I wanted to help you, so why is this all I can do?


The smell of smoke and seared flesh still lingered in the idle air of the dimly lit bedroom. It was a smell the flame alchemist was all too familiar with.

His expression contorted into horror as his mind glazed over with the blinding light of the memories too painful to recount, too jarring to forget. And finally, as he returned to reality, shaking and gasping for breath, what he saw before him had him convinced he hadn't escaped his nightmare, but entered a new one entirely.

Her back; her soft, rosy skin was once adorned with the beautiful, delicate stain of knowledge in ink red as the flames they taught. It now rest quivering before him, freshly defaced, destroyed by his own hand. Grotesque char and burn markings flared open to reveal bare flesh pooling with blood that slowly trickled down the contours of her body.

Her shoulders slacked away from their brace as the pain overcame her. Her hand quickly brought to her mouth to subdue the soft cries the agony so pressingly induced. Wordlessly, she scrambled to the side of the bed to recover the bandages she had prepared.

Wincing as she wrapped them around her torso, she heard his first whimper. She froze immediately and bit her lip, numbing herself to the physical pain and willing her mind to regain its composure.

She knew she had no idea as to the agony she had wrought upon him, and the idea pained her. She hopelessly realized how she had again expanded her own personal atonement of shame and suffering.

Roy's consious strained as his lips pressed tightly together. His mind raced, and yet timed every cruel realization to the drudging rythm of his slowed heartbeat. He was biting his own lip so hard, a lone stream of blood leaked out his mouth and ran down his chin.

Riza glanced upon him as he did nor said nothing. He simply stared at his bleached white gloves, the harsh blankness straining his eyesight.

His focus was so intent, he didn't even notice the first tear that tumbled down his cheek until it landed on the pristine cloth.

Admist his confusion, hatred, denial, and regret, the tear registered shame. It was a simple, childish shame that befell only the esteemed and pretentious. How shameful it felt to cry, and in front of a woman, no less.

And yet, they flowed, one after the other into his palms as he buried his face into his hands. The shaking and unsteadiness now brought upon by his overwheling emotions displayed themselves accompanied by hushed sobs. Each tear individually damped the cloth, rendering it useless.

Her heart sank as she watched him, her physical pain leaving a pressing place in her mind and replacing itself with her concern.

"R-Roy…" she choked, her stale voice lingering in the still air. "S-Stop…" she slowly made her way to the chairs, leaning her hands on the bed for leverage.  
When she reached him, she weakly wrapped her arms around his torso in an embrace.

"I'm so… sorry…" he managed inbetween breaths. "Please, please forgive me…"

"Stop," Riza repeated. "You can't be sorry, this is… for me, this is what I wanted…" she trailed off as he raised his head. His dishevled hair hung over his broken eyes as tear stains formed on his skin. He refused to look her in the eyes, and instead fixed his gaze away meekly.

"It's not what I wanted," he breathed, resting a hand on her arm. He then looked up, and caught her soft, brown eyes. "I wanted to help you, so why is this all I can do?"

"Roy…" she pulled away and rest her hands on his shoulders. "Trust me… it's more than enough."

"I-I swear," he spilled frantically in debt, "I swear on my life, i'll never hurt you again. You've allowed yourself to be close to me. I won't betray your sacrifice, i'm sorry. I'm sorry, i'm just too weak, I-I still hurt you…"

Her brows knit, and she hugged his shoulders, bringing his head to rest against her warm neck. She closed her eyes and a slight smile tugged on her lips.

"Colonel… don't be ridiculous. You're giving yourself too much credit. You can't hurt me that easily."

The wide grin and laugh he emitted discredited his feelings entirely. He willed himself to pull away from her touch, although the detachment was reluctant. Looking into her face and seeing her soft smile; for the first time in what felt like enternity, his sense of pleasure was completely renewed.

"Right… I… my god. What have I done to my beloved subordinated?" he laughed weakly. They both smiled and looked down, allowing the sense of comfort to reestablish itself.

"…Riza." he began in a level tone. "This isn't an order, it's a favor. I've made my promise to you. I've comitted the worst deed I am capable of. If I break that promise, under your judgement, I beg you to commit yours. Just… shoot me in the back; do it if I ever stray from the path I have sworn to take."

She nodded, and rest his hand over his damp glove, intertwining her fingers in his.

"…Okay." she smiled. "If you can do this for me, I can do that for you."


End file.
